- Friday afternoon, check the movie listings. Strike out. Check Netflix for Austenland, because you’ve been re-reading it on the sly all week. Strike out. Check Netflix’s recommendations for people obsessed with Austenland. Decide to watch Death comes to Pemberley after supper.
- Watch your son come home from school and leave for his friend’s birthday party in the space of 20 minutes.
- Heat up your one-serving Aldi’s Eggplant Parmesan. Briefly feel lucky to be alone, because nobody else likes Eggplant Parm.
- Sit down for your nightly dose of Wheel of Fortune. Decide not to watch Netflix, because it would require you to descend 2 flights of stairs to use the basement tv. Go to bed at 9:30 because you have no imagination whatsoever.
- Wake up at 4:40 to the sound of the dog grooming himself. He’s been scratching ever since he spent two days in a boarding kennel. Resolve to start him on the leftover doggie antibiotic you’ve been hoarding.
- Give up on sleep at 6:00. Text your daughter in England purely to try out the new iPhone texting features. Confuse her utterly.
- Text your husband with your new choice for president: Paul Ryan.
- Head for the farmer’s market to buy a pumpkin for the porch. Come home with this:
Good Work. - Buy a veggie breakfast burrito at the farmer’s market. Remove everything but the eggs. Join the #NeverArugula movement.
- Stop at Target to buy toilet bowl cleaner and conditioner. Fall in love with a high shine glossing mist that promises to laminate my hair with shine. Laminated hair? Sign me up!
- Try for 15 minutes to get a decent picture of the dog, who apparently doesn’t itch at all now.
- Spare a moment’s regret that none of my family was present to share this beautiful morning. Oh well. We’ll have other days.
I have Austenland on DVD… 🙂
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Then you have nothing to fear from spending an evening alone. Also, can I borrow it sometime? Soon? Sometime soon?
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A little southern Jersey nod to Mr. Darcy, “Charmed, I’m shore.”
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Ha!
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Your use conditioner in your toilet bowl? Bet it’s soft and manageable!
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Ha! Did I forget an Oxford comma? Target is a big place, Sally.
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Enjoyed reading this…love the beautiful picture of you…
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Did you notice the laminated hair?
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I just had my first night alone in 27 years. Very similar experience…except I had papers to grade. My dogs never bark at night and on this particular night they barked all night long.
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I can totally relate!
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i totally understand. It WILL get easier.
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Thanks!
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